Alien Invasion!
Middle Grade Science Fiction
Plot Summary:
Fourteen-year-old football jock Sam Goodson needs to get his little bro, boy genius Jake, and his mom into an underground seed bank where they can ride out the 6th mass extinction level event and rapid climate change with the rest of the super-nerds.
When alien robots invade the planet offering to “help” the human race survive, one of the robots saves Jake’s life. In doing so, he alters Sam and Jake’s genetic makeup. Sam beefs up over night without lifting a single weight. Jake can see a few seconds into the future. Cool side effects, but they come with a price.
“Altereds” are prohibited from entering a bank. Their mom’s cancer is spreading. A creepy mercury-skinned robot who calls himself “Numerical Equivalent 143” is hiding in their garage. Sam will have to step up his “A” game to keep his family safe, and do the one thing he’d rather not – become the leader his father charged him to be. The future of the entire world depends on it.
First 250:
Images of bloated bodies face down in a landscape of mud and debris flashed across the screen. The coverage of the latest tsunami, or maybe a mudslide. I snagged the remote out of my brother’s hand and hit the power button. “Dude, what are you watching?”
Jake blinked up at me from the couch. “The news, what does it look like?”
“You’re ten years old, bro. You’re not allowed to watch the news.”
“It’s better than watching your ugly face,” Jake said. He clutched his stomach and laughed like a maniac.
“Hilarious.” I tossed the remote to him. “Don’t let Mom catch you.”
I couldn’t blame him for being immune to the horrible stuff on TV. We all were. Global warming had messed us up big time.
Jake shot me a serious look. “The aliens might have heard my message. When they come to save us, it will be on the news.”
The kid built a radio for his school science fair. He thought he could send messages into outer space with it. I held up two fingers, one on each side of my head. I wiggled them like antennae. “Jake Goodson, it’s the aliens calling. We’re on our way. To eat your tasty brains!”
Jake smirked. “If that’s true, you won’t have to worry. You don’t have any brains for them to eat.”
“Try the sci-fi channel if you want aliens." I hefted my backpack over my shoulder. "I'm late for practice. Catch you later.”
This is such a super fun start! I'm so excited for you - good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like it'd be a fun read.
ReplyDeleteGood luck in the contest!
~Rachel, #190
This is amazing! I absolutely LOVE this opening and I am not completely desperate to read more! The joking between the boys is SO realistic and fun, and your query rocks. Good luck with the contest and hurry up and get an agent - I want to read this one :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fast paced, fun ride.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Ooh, this DOES sound like fun! I like the set up of the banter between the brothers, and I would definitely keep reading.
ReplyDeleteThis looks awesome! I don't read a lot of MG, but I would read this! Love the concept and the interaction between the boys. :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteFun fun reading! My little boys would eat this stuff up - I hope there is more to come, Betsy - terrific!
ReplyDeleteGreat to see more MG entries! Good luck from contestant #61!
ReplyDeleteI love your query and story, such a fun premise. I honestly don't read much MG, but it looks like you've nailed it. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for stopping by to read my entry and leave a comment. My blog doesn't know what to do with all this attention - no one has ever visited it before. :) Looking forward to reading all your entries, if I haven't already!
ReplyDeleteI like the voice of the 250 words. I don't have any kids but I'm pretty sure my little nephews would like this book!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!
- Krysten #41
I like this. Global warming is a current issue, so this is almost like it could happen soon! That's what makes sci-fi so great :) I love the concept behind this too, with the quest to save their mother. Nice job, and good luck!
ReplyDeleteSC (#159)
This sounds like a great story! Good luck in the contest!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say good luck in the contest!! MG is hard for me to do, so I am always impressed by writers who can pull it off, :)
ReplyDeleteSummer #40
Wow, I loved that opening! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is really funny... a couple of Jake's lines made me laugh out loud. I can't believe I didn't find this entry earlier. Good luck in the competition...
ReplyDeleteAnne #102
this is great...totally made me want to keep reading (and i'm not into MG or sci-fi ;)! best of luck! (#111)
ReplyDeleteforgot...love your blog, it's super fun!
DeleteI love this. I already like Sam as an MC, I'm a huge sucker for sibling stories, and I like an MG with a bit more of a serious side sometimes. Hope to see it in print someday soon! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteHi Betsy. I'm stopping by from the Writer's Voice contest (entry #58) to wish you the best of luck. Nice to meet you!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fun read. Good luck!
ReplyDelete~Nicole, entry 68
Interesting concept. :) Best of luck, Betsy!
ReplyDeletepromethium 143? Interesting premise - lots of potential to teach abstract concepts to youngsters, as well as valuable life lessons. You have it all - good luck!
ReplyDeletegreat work with ALL of it, betsy!!i'm absorbed completely! good luck! ferris #175
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that your entry was on my short short list. I thought your premise was intriguing and loved the boy-friendly MG voice in the first page.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I wasn't wild about the list of plot elements in the third query paragraph. I wanted to know how each of those things fit into the sequence of the story, and I wanted the summary to push a little deeper into the plot. You don't have to give everything away, of course, but you don't have to stop at the inciting incident, either. Blogging friend Adam Heine wrote a great blog post about that a few weeks ago. Here's the link, if you'd like to check it out:
http://www.adamheine.com/2012/04/common-query-problem-also-kung-fu-panda.html
Best of luck to you and ALIEN INVASION! It sounds exciting and heartwarming at the same time.