Oh, Ayla. Should I pronounce that with a guttural, cavemannish ring to it? No? Okay. After you lost your entire people to an earthquake and finished up surviving a hellish Cave Lion attack, you were raised by a Clan of half-men, half-monkeys who found you ugly as all get out. I’m truly sorry about that. But you had some good times, too. Like when you memorized the names and uses of about two thousand different plants, herbs, weeds, tree barks, and lizard skins. Thanks for sharing every single one of them with us, by the way. Good stuff to know. But how about stepping outside to have a word with Zoomba of the now extinct genetic line, the NeanderPygmies?
You kick ass with a slingshot. Nice.
I mean, the sling you swing around in the air that shoots out a
rock. Whatever. Zoomba rigged up a sweet deal out of
moleskin, yucca fibers, tree limbs, and tar that would make your eyes
water. Out of jealousy. Because it’s a primitive crossbow, and she’s
deadly accurate with it. You’re able to
hypnotize huge, scary beasts like horses, lions, and wolves. Zoomba has a black mamba for a pet. That’s only the most terrifying snake in all
of Africa. She trained it to obey her
version of “sic ‘em, boy!” You became
the Clan’s medicine woman, capable of communing with your monkey-people
friends’ ancestors when you eat magic roots. Super. Zoomba snacks on peyote
like it’s going out of style. When she
does, she can fly.
Zoomba: 3
Ayla: - 1, because that last book? Pretty sure that one was written so your author could write off her "cave tour" in France as a business expense.
Game Over
No comments:
Post a Comment